“A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. ” George Carlin
A recent blog we did about moving mentioned dealing with clutter, and that apparently struck a minor nerve with some people. It seems our family is not the only one afflicted with the “can’t toss it out” disease. We have stuff going back to the 19th century that was handed down because they couldn’t bear to part with it, and we don’t even know what half of it is.
As a kid I remember asking my grandmother about something on her shelf – a small metal spoon with embossed lettering on it that she said was a souvenir of the Chicago Exposition of the 1890’s. She was not amused when I asked if she got it when she visited there. It now sits on a shelf in my house and will be handed down to the next generation when I’m sure they’re old enough to appreciate it’s true value. If it has any value at all.
That was the first time I learned that little things made out of metal, whether you know what they are or not, must be kept. My father-in-law had an entire kitchen drawer dedicated to little metal things that he had collected over his lifetime. It was fun to poke through it and try to figure out what various items were. He usually couldn’t identify them so I rarely asked, but he assured me that one day he might need one of this or that. That collection now resides with his son.
Some things just seem to accumulate over time and the disease to keep things strikes early. I’ve noticed that my five-year-old granddaughter is very reticent to throw anything away. Under her bed is a large collection of toy parts, tattered stuffed animals, clothing tags, bits of paper with her drawings, bits of paper from the mail, bits of paper from fast food places and bits of paper that could be from an alien culture. Bits of paper are obviously very important in a young life.
Is the “keep it” disease genetic? Some families have more clutter than others and no one is immune from it. However there are different classes and levels of clutter and clutterers. At the bottom of the scale are those who are just plain slobs and never quite get past their teenage hygiene habits. You know them, if you visit you have to move something in order to sit down and you always have to check any dishes or silverware they offer you food on. There is nothing worse than finding out that their family dog is in charge of rinsing the dishes.
In the middle tier we have people with kids or whose kids have moved out and left all their stuff behind. Obviously the kids are smarter than we are because we just keep packing it all up and moving it around. Young kids are clutter magnets. Clothing manufacturers don’t realize it, but they could sell twice as many boy’s pants if they pre-stuffed the pockets with various things like little rocks, remains of bugs and of course little metal things. They also miss the bet by not putting pockets into girl’s dresses and filling them with fake notes, plastic rings and bubble gum.
Once their kids grow up and move out, virtually all boomers miss the best chance they will ever have to weed out junk in the house. Excuse me, “stuff.” “Junk” is what other people have in their homes. Our stuff is just stuff – except for some who refer to it as antiques. But those people are also smart enough to get stuff out of the house and sell it at “antique malls” and flea markets. If you’ve never been, these places are where people get rid of stuff so they can buy more. People love to swap stuff. One person’s empty soda bottle is another person’s cherished collectible.
At the top of the stuff food chain are collectors. Their behavior is still a mystery to the fields of sociology and psychology. Did they suffer from insufficient doses of gitchy-gotchies as kids? Do they really believe Beany Babies will make a comeback? The list is long, but some popular collectibles have included little porcelain animals, stuffed animals, beer cans (empty), virtually anything related to tv shows and movies, figurines, miniature villages and yes, little things made out of metal. The most afflicted of this group actually believe that their collectibles will appreciate in value, and that one day someone with a bigger affliction than them will come along and offer scads of money for their stuff.
Boomers truly are the “oreo” generation in more ways than one. When it comes to stuff, we have a bunch of it that was handed down that we can’t seem to part with. Then our kids leave their stuff behind, probably because they saw what happened to us. As a result we’re left with homes full of everyone else’s stuff and not enough space for our own stuff, so we move and lease storage units for about the same price it would cost to add another room on the house we just sold.
This story doesn’t have a happy, cute or ironic ending to it. Keeping, hoarding and collecting will continue for as long as humans have a place to store their stuff. We do predict however, that stuff will follow us into space and that one day, an alien will visit our Galactic Flea Market and pay a huge sum for our Franklin Mint memorial plates. And there may just be some little metal things that they need for their spaceships.
Note: The US Dept. of Energy reports that about one-quarter of homeowners with two-car garages keep them so full of stuff they can’t park their cars inside. The National Soap and Detergent Assn. claims that 40% of house cleaning chores could be eliminated if people would get rid of clutter. Renting out storage units is a $154 billion per year industry. One in eleven American households rent outside storage space at an average cost of over $1,000 a year. The estimated cost to store stuff in your own home is about $10 a square foot.
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